Good post. Some convicting points here. I think I sink from the cortex down to the limbic pretty quickly when it comes to conflict, moving toward a counterattack. A fail on step 1 or 2! But I don't want to get stuck in appeasement, either, which seems to be the attitude of some Christians in the midst of these recent conflicts. Oh for a good balance. It's certainly a learning process. Psalm 139:23-24 indeed.
MikeB
3 years ago
10 BIBLICAL STEPS FOR DEFUSING A TENSE SITUATION “Those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and they will reap a harvest of goodness.” James 3:18 (NLT)
Rick Warren, June 21, 2020
1. Lower your voice “A gentle response will calm a person's anger, but harsh words stir up intense fury.” Prov. 15:1 “The quiet words of a wise person are more effective than the shouting of a leader of fools.” Eccl. 9:17 (NIV)
2. Breathe and slow down the pace of speaking “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but by biding his time, the wise man calms it down.” Prov. 29:11 (NAB) “People with hot tempers start fights and cause trouble, but a calm, cool spirit keeps the peace.” Prov. 15:18 (Mes/NCV) “If a ruler (or anyone else) loses his temper against you, don't panic! A calm disposition quiets intemperate rage.” Eccl. 10:4 (Mes)
3. Listen more than you talk “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” James 1:19 (NLT) “Arrogant know-it-alls stir up discord, but wise men and women listen to each other's counsel.” Prov. 13:10 (Mes)
4. Listen for the hurt behind the words “Each heart knows its own bitterness . . .” Prov. 14:10 (NIV)
5. Pray while listening “Gideon built an altar for worshiping the Lord and he called it ‘The Lord Calms Our Fears.’” Judges 6:24 (CEV) “God stills the raging oceans, quiets the noise of roaring waves, and calms the uproar of the peoples.” Psalm 65:7
6. Seek to understand before seeking to be understood “A person who answers without listening is foolish and disgraceful.” Prov. 18:13 (ICB)
7. Try to see their perspective “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.” Phil. 2:4-5 (NIV)
8. Ask God to give you a clear picture of yourself “Search me, O God and examine my heart; test me and know my nervous thoughts. Point out anything in ME that is wrong. Then lead me on the path that is always right.” Psalm 139:23-24
9. Admit the parts of the conflict that you caused Jesus: “Why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friend's eye, but you don't notice the big piece of wood in your own eye? First, take the wood out of your own eye. Then you will see clearly to take the dust out of your friend's eye.” Matt. 7:3, 5 (NCV)
10. Choose your words carefully “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Prov. 12:18 (NIV) “Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed.” Eph. 4:29 (TEV) “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God!” Matt. 5:9 (NIV)
Jon
3 years ago
Thanks for listing those ten points out Mike! I wanted to do get those in a point form, as I can edit it, and use it for our team here. We have a wild bunch of Syrians, Iraqis, Turks, and sometimes, well disagreements happen, though things are usually running amazingly smooth!
MikeB
3 years ago
Just so you know, Rick Warren has PDF's notes of his sermon's on line. I posted those points for those who prefer to read and are short on time. Like you said, they are a good teaching tool too. GBY Jon and your work there.
Frank
MikeB
“Those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and they will reap a harvest of goodness.” James 3:18 (NLT)
Rick Warren, June 21, 2020
1. Lower your voice
“A gentle response will calm a person's anger, but harsh words stir up intense fury.” Prov. 15:1
“The quiet words of a wise person are more effective than the shouting of a leader of fools.” Eccl. 9:17 (NIV)
2. Breathe and slow down the pace of speaking
“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but by biding his time, the wise man calms it down.” Prov. 29:11 (NAB)
“People with hot tempers start fights and cause trouble, but a calm, cool spirit keeps the peace.” Prov. 15:18 (Mes/NCV)
“If a ruler (or anyone else) loses his temper against you, don't panic! A calm disposition quiets intemperate rage.” Eccl. 10:4 (Mes)
3. Listen more than you talk
“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” James 1:19 (NLT)
“Arrogant know-it-alls stir up discord, but wise men and women listen to each other's counsel.” Prov. 13:10 (Mes)
4. Listen for the hurt behind the words
“Each heart knows its own bitterness . . .” Prov. 14:10 (NIV)
5. Pray while listening
“Gideon built an altar for worshiping the Lord and he called it ‘The Lord Calms Our Fears.’” Judges 6:24 (CEV)
“God stills the raging oceans, quiets the noise of roaring waves, and calms the uproar of the peoples.” Psalm 65:7
6. Seek to understand before seeking to be understood
“A person who answers without listening is foolish and disgraceful.” Prov. 18:13 (ICB)
7. Try to see their perspective
“Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.” Phil. 2:4-5 (NIV)
8. Ask God to give you a clear picture of yourself
“Search me, O God and examine my heart; test me and know my nervous thoughts. Point out anything in ME that is wrong. Then lead me on the path that is always right.” Psalm 139:23-24
9. Admit the parts of the conflict that you caused
Jesus: “Why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friend's eye, but you don't notice the big piece of wood in your own eye? First, take the wood out of your own eye. Then you will see clearly to take the dust out of your friend's eye.” Matt. 7:3, 5 (NCV)
10. Choose your words carefully
“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Prov. 12:18 (NIV)
“Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed.” Eph. 4:29 (TEV)
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God!” Matt. 5:9 (NIV)
Jon
MikeB